I was raised Catholic, but the man I married in 1995, in a civil ceremony told me that he is an atheist. We have 8-year-old child. Almost 2 years ago my husband, against my will, filed for divorce (California, no-fault law), and then moved out and in with a woman (his coworker). Last Xmas, they got officially engaged. We are still married. The divorce is in the second year and one can see no end. They want to marry in the Catholic Church (my husband says that now he is a catholic). Can my husband get an annulment of our marriage?

-- Ida (misie2@sbcglobal.net), February 22, 2005

Answers

bump

-- bump (bumppmub@bumpmail.com), February 22, 2005.

Possibly.

But, in order for him to have a valid marriage in the Church, he would have to petition for a declaration of nullity in your marriage after a civil divorce is granted.

The Church recognizes a marriage as valid until proven otherwise.

Was your marriage valid? Only a Church tribunal can determine that.

He would have to petition, give full disclosure of the details of the relationship with you -- before and during the marriage, and all details about his life relating to the marriage. Then the tribunal would decide. Then there are appeals mechanisms through the ecclesial courts all the way to the Vatican.

If at the time of your marriage, he was indeed an atheist and at that time had no intention of permitting his child to be raised as a Christian, would your marriage be valid? Probably not.

Could he have had a true conversion?

Only he and God know for sure.

Talk with a priest. I'm only speculating and my views really don't mean a lot.

Trust your priest.

God bless,

-- john placette (jplacette@catholic.org), February 22, 2005.

John,

This is actually a simple lack of canonical form case, assuming that Ida did not defect from the Catholic Church by a formal act.

-- Mark (aujus_1066@yahoo.com), February 22, 2005.

Mark, it is a little more than that because he was a non-believer. Blatantly invalid marriage. The LoCF will do for him though. BUT, before he can get married in the Catholic Church he needs a real course on Marriage as is evidenced in how he left his first wife of civil marriage.

-- Fr. Paul (pjdoucet@hotmail.com), February 23, 2005.

Thank you for your answers. In my heart, our marriage is valid. He was baptized as a baby in the Catholic Church. Is that how people “find God” nowadays – you file for divorce and go live “in sin” with another woman?

-- Ida (misie2@sbcglobal.net), February 23, 2005.

"In my heart, our marriage is valid."

Sorry Ida, not so. You were married outside the Church and you admit that you are Catholic and that he was baptised Catholic. For two Catholics to get married outside the Church a special dispensation from Rome is needed, even your bishop couldn't permit it. Straight forward Lack of Canonical Form for the Sacrament, therefore not valid.

-- Fr. Paul (pjdoucet@hotmail.com), February 23, 2005.

I don't know how long it takes in your state to get a divorce if one person doesn't agree. He can't start an annulment petition until that has gone through, so it could end up taking him quite a long time to get what he wants. During which time he could reflect and have a change of heart.

-- Teresa (teresa45@hotmail.com), February 23, 2005.

Ida,

Is this a marriage mortuary? I assume you are sill married and wish to save your marriage and if invalid, validate it? Miracles do happen -anything is possible with Christ.

A link to read for beginning motivation -feel free to email me to discuss strategy or brainstorm ideas. Also -try to set aside the doom and gloom scenario...

Divorce, American Style: An Interview with Bai Macfarlane

-- Daniel Hawkenberry (dlm@catholic.org), February 23, 2005.

I assume you are sill married

Daniel, you are not paying attention. Fr. Paul has correctly stated that the two people, Ida and the man she thought was her husband, were never actually married in God's eyes. They did not have permission to be married outside the Catholic Church (in a "civil ceremony)! Therefore, their "union" was actually invalid from "day one." Therefore, Ida should allow the divorce and nullity cases to proceed, so that all involved can move on in their lives.

-- (@@@.@), February 23, 2005.

Tell that to the eight year old child. The man she married in good faith, for whom she bore a child, is a rat.

-- Pat Delaney (patrickrdelaney@yahoo.com), February 24, 2005.

All the man has to do is have a child with his new love then he can stay with her with the Church's blessing. That is the solution.

Whta happens to the rest does not matter to the Catholic Church, no matter how unjust their fate.

-- Karl (Parkerkajwen@hotmail.com), February 24, 2005.

Daniel, you are not paying attention.

Whoever you are -get a clue and at least attempt to gain some undrerstanding as to what the Church teaches regarding marriage.

-- Daniel Hawkenberry (dlm@catholic.org), February 24, 2005.